you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
