Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Holy shit dude........stairs
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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