do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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