just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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