My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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