I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
