Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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