once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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