return my video game
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
