my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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