butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize