At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Enjoy the penises
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
