I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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