If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize