Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
