I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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