WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
