i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
