I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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