so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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