I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
