So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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