i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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