It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
