i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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