In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
