I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
