We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
