then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
