no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
