butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
