dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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