I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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