Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
