i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
