I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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