I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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