sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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