I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
