you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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