So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
