Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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