i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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