you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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