you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
