i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
