Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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