I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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