I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
