I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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