roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
