i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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