five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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