I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
