all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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