Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
