Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
