I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize