Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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