You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
