I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Life is so much better after having sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
