I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
