New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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