Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How naked do you want me to be?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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